Bridge Base Online has a strict no tolerance policies that ensures there are no trolls under the bridge, but this level of online protection might not extend to your real-life bridge club.
Even though it’s all meant to be friendly competition, there are instances where people might cross the line – rudeness, harassment and violence can happen anywhere in life, but what do you do when it takes place at the bridge table?
As the game of bridge gets bigger, I think that we can safely assume that not everyone attracted to the game will be nice.
Here’s what to do if you’ve come across an unpleasant bridge player in real life.
“Tournament Director, Please!”
Irregularities and rudeness that happens at club events or tournaments should immediately be reported to the Tournament Director (TD) at the event.
Reporting issues to the tournament director is about more than the isolated incident you’re reporting. It’s also about being able to avoid similar issues for other players in the future where chronic rudeness is a problem.
Speaking to the Club
If you’re in a bridge club with a player who is either rude to everyone or crossing the line in terms of other behavior (sexual advances being one of them), speak to the rest of the club and lay the cards out on the table at the next meeting.
Alternatively, speak to the highest-ranking at your club about the incidents.
Where it’s decided that incidents are repetitive and/or an annoyance to the rest of the club, the suggestion is expulsion by popular vote.
Why You Should Always Report It
Always report rudeness, bad behavior and harassment to someone in charge, whether you’re speaking to the tournament director or the head of your club.
Many people imagine that one instance of a creepy comment or hand-grab can be ignored or laughed away, but this is usually not the case. It can and will happen again: And if it’s not happening to you, it might be happening to someone else.
Also, never assume that someone’s advances or harassment will stay at simple harassment. There are times where it can turn into more dangerous behavior.
The Burden of Proof
Some types of harassment are persistent and/or threatening. While I sincerely hope that nobody encounters harassment of this type at their bridge club, it’s certainly possible that it could happen.
If it happens to you, document the incidents of harassment or threats as best you can. Keep things like messages, record things like phone calls and make official if any laws have been broken in the process.
Where further legal steps follow to protect yourself, this proof will usually become important later on.
Further Steps
For rare instances where harassment turns dangerous or violent, the best thing to do is to follow it up with legal steps.
In some places, it’s called a restraining order and in some other places it’s known as a protection from harassment order – but usually anywhere, it’s a good idea to apply for one if you’ve had specific threats.
Why do it? In cases of persistent or targeted harassment, it can be dangerous not to.