Snacks might be the one thing that unites both online and offline bridge games. But not all snacks have been created equal, and some of them are terrible choices for any game whether you got hungry while playing BBO or whether you’re hosting a game and have to sort out the refreshments.
Here are a few snacks and foods you might want to keep away from the table.
First, I had to do some research on whether it was spelled with or without an apostrophe (and the answer for anyone who cares is without!).
Depending on who you ask and how far into the bag you ask them, Cheetos aren’t horrible. Sometimes they can even be tolerable. They’re little puffy cheese flavored balls at the start of the bag, but you generally get more put off eating them the further in you get.
At the very end of a bag of Cheetos – even surprisingly a small one – everyone looks at their hands in mild disgust and surprise. What? You mean this snack actually dared to rub off on your hands?
And there’s the reason why you don’t want them at a bridge game.
If your card decks are yellow at the edges, change your snacks.
(Most) Hot Dogs
Hot dogs in all of their forms are found in many parts of the world. I don’t think they should be present at most bridge games – unless eaten in the non-traditional way of cut up and skewered with something.
They’re known to backfire. Not always, but sometimes. And when they do, it ends in getting sauce all over your clothing – and being hit in chin, stomach or chest with the rest.
(If this happens at your bridge game, choose the dummy and declarer for the next game by electing who gets mustard on their shirt first.)
Pringles Butter Caramel
Pringles Butter Caramel is a limited edition flavor that was released in Korea, but somehow found its way to a small town in South Africa where my wife and I lived several years ago.
I’ve only ever seen it in store once, and the first and only time I did was the time I bought it.
I think my wife got two crisps in: One to tell the flavor was terrible – and one more just to confirm that it’s really that bad. I managed three and gave up entirely.
It tastes like you dragged a bag of fried potatoes through what a carnival smells like. Great in theory, terrible in reality.
Sweet Peanuts are one of those things you’ll only see in some parts of the world. The UK is one – and I can say that South Africa is too. A lot of people grew up with these things, and they’re hard to describe to anyone who hasn’t had one.
Imagine a candied peanut. Or a hardened peanut shaped candy that cracks in a weirdly satisfying and sugary way. Splinters, almost.
It’s the type of thing that many grandmothers carried around in their handbags, or kids would buy in handfuls at the store.
What makes them terrible for a bridge game?
If you know someone at the table is allergic, skip the peanut snacks – and if you don’t know, ask about allergies.
Jelly Belly’s Beanboozled
Jelly Belly’s “Beanboozled” is the real-life answer to Every Flavor Jelly Beans. I haven’t tried these yet, but the premise is enough to tell me these shouldn’t be circulating around bridge clubs or tournaments.
The idea is every flavor. Disgusting ones too. And for every terrible flavor there’s a normal equivalent that looks the same.
Flavors include vomit, grass, rotten eggs – and the normal equivalents aren’t nearly as gross, but there’s no way to tell which you’re getting.
Statistically, someone at the table will probably throw up.
The KFC Nacho Cheese Burger
We recently ordered this from a local restaurant – and, well, it was so terrible that something had to be said about it in writing before the evil is allowed to spread.
It’s called the KFC Nacho Cheese Burger, and it appears to be a limited run thing that’s available elsewhere in the world in a few other forms – including the Nacho Tower.
The idea of this burger is a regular crunch burger, but with extra cheese (apparently) and a few nachos on top.
The ad for it is available through YouTube. (Source: YouTube)
It’s advertised as a lot of things. Good is one of those things.
It’s none of those things.
The actual burger contains about four triangular crisps: I’m sure you can identify the brand. Soggy and basically melted to the bread, which had been melted to the cheese – which had been melted into the universe it was attached to.
You’ll have much more luck buying Unnamed Triangular Crisps yourself and throwing them on a regular burger.
I don’t know if it’s this horrible in every country, but it definitely turned out horribly here.