Nightclubs used to be one of the environments in which I felt most comfortable, and I spent plenty of evenings heading out to one of the local goth or metal clubs before coming home and settling down for a game of online poker with the music still fresh in my head.

Years later, I look back and wonder what the environment might have taught me about bridge.

Here are a few lessons from the nightclub applied to the game.

Don’t Be a Wallflower

Some people are social animals, other people are animals that retreat straight back into their shells whenever they meet people. For the most part, I used to be the second – and while being an introvert is fine, bridge quickly made me realize that being antisocial is not.

There’s no need to be a wallflower at most bridge events or in most bridge chatrooms. Get out of your shell a little: The worst thing that might happen is someone pointing out your bidding.

Get By With a Little Help from Your Friends

Most bridge clubs and partnerships are supportive: Both emotionally and when you need a little help. If you’re struggling to get to a bridge game, set up a lift club – and if you’re having a rough day, apply yourself to bridge as a means to unwind. There are some really great people in the game: It helps.

Not Everyone Works Well Together

I used to spend a great deal of the night looking at people – and as a writer, imagining that I can get away with it. Some couples have great chemistry together, other couples are at one another’s throats the entire night (and not in a good way).

Not everyone works well together. Not all hook-ups on the dancefloor, not all couples and not all bridge partners.

No Open Drinks

One more thing that’s true for both club environments and bridge games is this: Don’t accept open drinks, and don’t turn your back on your drink. Don’t even leave it with a friend.

The rise in “drink spiking” is one of the reasons I’ve stopped going to nightclubs for a while, and I’d hate to ever say the same thing about any bridge club.

At nightclubs, it’s happened to me more than once and I was thankfully able to get home right in the nick of time before anything serious might have happened, but many friends didn’t have the same lucky story.

Being careful is always best.

Dancefloor and Table Ettiquette

Dancefloor and table ettiquette are alike. It’s not nice to shove, getting bashed gets you kicked out – and it’s not nice to spend too much time talking to someone else’s partner.

Bidding and Dancing are Both Coordination

Bidding and dancing are both coordinated events – and some partnerships are far better at it than some others. It’s clear when a partnership has a decided “leader” for the dance (or game) and it’s clear who is going to have a fight about the dancing (or bidding) on the way home.

Learn to coordinate better with other people, even if you just met them off the dancefloor or partnership desk, and when you don’t see eye to eye with someone, decide whether you’re willing to work at it or should abandon ship.

Nobody is Better When They’re Drunk

“Let’s get drunk and play cards” is a family event for many people (and I suppose if you’re drinking on the sly from a hip flask there might be a handful of people doing this at their club) – but in both cases, the person ends up lying to themselves.

No, you’re not a better dancer, musician, artist, poet or card player when you’re drunk: You’re more likely worse at it and just too drunk to notice it yourself.

Don’t do it!