While I used to deal with physical pain due to scoliosis through the self-administering of vast amounts of opiates, I can say that I’ve found much better ways to cope. I haven’t taken painkillers in several years, and certainly not ones that contain opiates and could send me back to the darker side of things.

There are better ways to deal with pain: More effective ones that do less harm and that still allow me to retain clarity and move around: Two things most painkillers don’t.

Simply, getting stoned helps.

It takes the edge out of the searing pain occasionally radiating out of my back and turns it into a feeling that I’m mostly just aware of. It’s there, but it’s not nearly as bad.

It might not help everyone, but it’s helped me. I’m glad to say that I’ve seen it become legal in many parts of the world – including in South Africa for personal, home use.

Long walks are a little shorter, and a few puffs do more than I can expect opiate-based painkillers to do without any of the added side-effects of prescription painkillers (which, if you don’t know, will include things like headaches, dehydration, constipation and ulcers).

Whether you call it ganja or refer to it as reefer, I imagine that many out there have imbibed themselves (or just stood too close when someone else did).

It’s great as a distraction from pain, and it’s great as a way to stimulate a healthy appetite when there isn’t one: More research shows that it might bring clarity to symptoms of dementia: I’ve puffed-and-passed with old ladies in their seventies who asked – and immediately had memory recall that they tell me they haven’t hard in years.

 As it turns out, a few puffs can be great before a bridge game, too.

Yup. I’ve played bridge online stoned – and several times over. If I didn’t mention it outright, I don’t think anyone could tell. Surprisingly, these were the games I won.

Other than killing pain, THC is known to cause temporary effects like wandering thoughts and what’s known almost internationally as “the munchies.”

Here are some of the wandering thoughts I’ve had during these stoned online bridge matches.

“Are They Disconnected, Slow or Dead?”

Some players take longer to make their move than others. When you’re nearing ten seconds and an opponent or partner still hasn’t made their move, wandering thoughts start to ask if they might have disconnected from the game, if they might be thinking about their move or if they might have died on the other end.

Come on, partner, make your move.

“Oh, That Was the Ace…”

I’ve missed good moves involving an ace at the best of times: Apparently, being stoned makes me no more or less likely to do the same thing. I’ve played many cards and suddenly realized that the ace wasn’t where I thought it was – but soon after, also realized that the same ace was now out of play for everyone else, too.

“I’ll Get You, My Pretty…”

Seemingly, being a little stoned in the midst of the game makes me more likely to see good moves – and adds the ability to know what to do with them. If I make a bad move, I’m not nearly as judgmental – and I don’t let it affect the rest of the game. Bad moves can always be turned into good ones later on – and there are still ways to turn the game into a winner.

“Pass…Heh.”

The term “pass” belongs to both a world of marijuana enthusiasts and to bridge players: Whenever I see it online and I happen to be holding a Custom Rolled Cigarette at the time, who said I can’t have a giggle about that?

“Smoke Goes Up…”

Here’s a piece of advice if you haven’t smoked before, especially at night: Smoke goes up, all the way up – and it has the uncanny ability to cluster around lights that the entire neighborhood can spot from a mile away.

I’ve had to say the same thing to many poor folks and first-time stoners who imbibed while working the graveyard shift: Careful where you blow your smoke!