There’s been a little bit more time for reading lately, and I have again reached for the wonderful and quirky TAO OF POOH after packing our previous home into a selection of boxes and taking a break to leaf through the pages for some knowledge or wisdom.

The story of the Three Vinegar Tasters sticks.

In it, three masters are tasting from a vat of vinegar – and each of the masters have a different expression on their face: Only one of them is smiling about their experience. 

The masters have varying opinions on the vinegar, but the smiling master — the teacher of Taoism — explains that it is in the vinegar’s nature to taste the way it does (and that there is no point in getting upset or angry as a result). 

The smiling master says that everything in the world has a nature: What it does is what it does at that point and time, and true enlightenment is in acceptance.

My explanation isn’t as good as you’ll find in the TAO OF POOH, and probably not as elaborate as you might find on Wikipedia: But I hope it makes sense.

I was once bitten by a small snake: Like the vinegar taster, there was no point in being angry at the snake as a result of the event. It was acting in accordance with its nature. Similarly, I’ve received many threats over the years from many people as a journalist: Calmness in these situations also comes from realizing that it might simply be in their nature — like the snake — and anger is futile even though reaction is vital.

The same can also apply to bridge.

Here are a few situations where I’ve found being reminded of the vinegar tasters to be useful.

1. Partnership Disagreements

Why did your partner play that specific card? Sometimes there’s no point in arguing with your bridge partner over one choice or another, but better to move with the rhythm of the rest of the game to see these points and tricks regained at a later point.

2. Dummy Zen

It’s not uncommon for the dummy player to feel like foaming at the mouth when their partner makes a bad move and they can’t say anything about it. Acceptance is crucial here: It happened, and now what? The nature of the cards means that some deals are good, some deals are not – and the best you can do is go with it.

3. Games Gone Bad

It can be anything from disappointing to disastrously depressing when you have just lost a big game.

But what’s the inherent nature of games?

Winning and losing. The one can’t exist without the other – and even the best boxers in the world lost or tied at least a handful of times for the same reason.

Again, I found the story of the vinegar tasters a useful one whenever winning or losing.

4. Partnership Changes

Disagreeing with your partner a little too much? 

It might just not be in your nature to get along: Either work around your differences and learn how to play a good game, or seek a different partnership for either of you that would make a better fit.

There’s no point in getting upset when partnerships don’t work out, when the two of you don’t make for a good game or when you or your partnership seek out other bridge players.

It happens. That’s the way it is.