Let’s discuss what I consider to be a pretty important concept in the world of bridge – at least theoretically.

(And, thankfully, in jest.) 

Bridge players get to bid; either a number-and-suit combination, or Pass, Double and Redouble. But if you could bid the option of an f-bomb, would you? 

What’s an F-Bomb?

Okay, then: It’s the classic four-letter word. The one that starts with an F and then bombs with a colorful -CK at the end. I’m not going to mention the word in its entire form, but I’m sure that readers can fill in the rest of it or substitute whatever the word might be called in their home language. 

How do we react to them now?

I remember a news article from a while back about a bridge player who had been banned from the bridge table (for the period of at least a year) for an inappropriate f-bomb explosion at the table. Now, one morning, that’s what got me to thinking in the first place.

What if the f-bomb wasn’t an insult or exclamation at the bridge table? What if it was a bridge bid? 

Now, heck; you could blame the fact that I was tired when I had the thought, but I have to admit that there might be a little more to it. 

What…? 

I have strange thoughts when I can’t sleep. Sometimes these weird thoughts will encompass the world of bridge. (This was clearly one of them.) 

What do you think?

This could be another new form of bridge exclusively called Obscenity Bridge; where it’s possible to bid an F. 

This could tell your partner to not lead that F-ing suit, or instead use Gerber to ask for F-ing Aces.

This could start Stayman with the two of F-ing clubs – and, well, so-forth.