We’re all card players here, more or less.

I take that to mean that we all like the look (and usually, the feel) of having a deck of cards nearby. It’s the aesthetics, the sound, and the smell of a card deck that gets me even though most of my games have taken place plugged into the internet.

My love for the card deck extends into other aspects of my life, too. I’m sure the same is true for others.

I like kitsch card art. I like weird card movies. I like nude card decks of the forties, fifties, and before. I like almost anything that has a card-based theme.

I said almost, and there’s the point.

Any theme can be pushed too far.

One moment, we were fine with roller-blading. The next moment, kids were breaking ankles because they were wearing Sketchers – the shoes with the wheel in the heel-part of the shoe. See? A great theme, but pushed too far with consequences to follow.

Now that I think I’ve made the overall point, what about cards?

There are some weird things in the world, and you can rent or buy them for money. Sticking to the topic of card decks…

Here are 3 card-themed things that’ll make you wonder.

1: You Know You’re Over 50 Deck

I’ve always thought that one of the worst gifts you could give someone are quirky ones that comment, somehow, on their age. Yet there are thousands upon millions of books, mugs, shirts, and more that do exactly that.

If you’d love to offend someone with a card deck, there’s this.

But I do not, personally, see why anyone would! 

2: Ace Of Spades Bottle Opener

Bottle openers can be a wonderful gift, but it can also be a weird one that makes its way to the bottom of a drawer (and optionally, rusts) for the next twenty years.

Buy someone a bottle opener as an accompanying gift. Get them an opener together with something to open it with. Gift bottle openers where it seems appropriate.

But don’t get someone just a bottle opener out of context.

Let’s remember that the Vietnam War saw the Ace Of Spades used mostly as a threat of death to enemies. That’s a great gift for a loved one at Christmas, don’t you think?

Well…

3: The Playing Card Water Gun

If you really hate anyone else in the house, club, or neighbourhood, there’s the playing card water gun – and I can’t think of any reasons why you would need, at least specifically, this.

Would you load up a Spade-themed playing card water gun and take it to the next game you play?

I certainly hope not.

What’s the strangest card-themed object you’ve ever noticed – at least so far?