Grief is an emotion that perhaps everyone will experience in their lives, but one which I would imagine not a lot of players will immediately associate with the game of bridge.

When people experience stress or loss, it can trigger the emotions we associate with grief. Sadness, hopelessness, nostalgia, and regression are just some of the feelings that tend to crop up.

Even though grief is something we associate with very serious, personal loss, it can also make an appearance when we lose other things – like, for example, bridge games.

Do you grieve your bridge game’s loss?

Out of the thousands of bridge games that get played daily, I would imagine that many people do. Everyone has played a bad game, and then had emotion creeping up on them as a result – that, when it happens, is just grieving a different type of loss.

Here’s how to process the common emotion of grief when it applies to your bridge loss.

The Five Stages Of Grief

The traditional grieving process happens in stages, which are well-known and often repeated.

These stages are known to happen when grief gets triggered by traumatic or stressful events, but not always in a set order. In the end, these stages are always worked through by anyone who has ever felt grief about anything.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

While some sources add several more, the base emotions that grieving people have to process are those five right there.

Are you processing grief unrelated to bridge, and reading this post? Seek help or specialized grief counselling. Yes, it helps – and there’s no need to do this alone.

The Five Stages Of Grief (But For Bridge)

The five stages of grief might affect a player in any order, and they’re likely to set in right after the loss – though not always.

Sometimes, the emotions might take days or weeks after the game to hit (or even be triggered by someone’s comment on how your playing was different or off).

The five stages of grief when applied to bridge are likely to make you imagine the horror of your next game (or the terror that was others). Don’t!

Remember two things:

1. Everyone can lose, and the best players in the world do.
2. Loss is a learning experience, too.

Next, it’s worth looking at the emotions unpacked, but for bridge.

• Denial can make it feel like the loss didn’t really happen, or has no effect on the emotions you’re going through right now.
• Anger can trigger emotions directed at yourself, your playing, or your bridge partner. Sometimes, it backfires and makes you angry at your opponents, or even at unrelated things that you might think at that time affected your game.
• Bargaining is the emotion which makes people imagine they can change unalterable odds. Within cards, it can trigger superstition, obsession, or hoping to influence your next game based on guesswork instead of ability.
• Depression is the part where you feel terrible about losing the game. It’s normal, and it happens, and that’s the best you can do with it. Should your depression spill over into other areas of your life, seek help for depression as a serious potential health condition.
• Acceptance is the emotion which ends the grieving process, and makes room for new growth. As a bridge player who lost a game, this is the emotion that will eventually guarantee your success in future games.

Accept your losses at the table, and learn from them where and when you can!

3 Ways To Learn From Loss

1. Examine the game postmortem.

2. Share the game’s play with others, and ask.

3. Replay the same game twice.