Energy drinks and other caffeine-containing goodies are a common sight at esports tournaments, bridge clubs, and regular online home games. Caffeine is sold under the brand name of REGMAKERS in local parts: this translates to “fixers”, though I’ve been known to call them power-ups, too.

Caffeine is bitter as death in its purer forms. It’s not pleasant to have a fixer get stuck in your throat.

If you’ve wondered about this, it’s why energy drink flavours are between overpowering and strange. Their high vitamin-content is what adds the never-pleasant aftertaste to most of them.

Do you rely on the occasional energy drink for a bridge player’s perk-up?

I recommend choosing a flavour that you like (and sticking to it).

Here’s proof that energy drink flavours (are getting too weird).

1. Green Apple

Green apple is one of the most familiar flavours in the world. Everything from candies to bath soaps can be bought in green apple variety, and you’d assume that anything labelled “green apple” will taste similar. Then you try the standard green apple energy drink.

Green apple energy drinks don’t strike the feel-good tastebuds the way you’d imagine. Instead, green apple-flavoured drinks are a kick to the throat first: they tend to taste more like a heap of sour candies that had melted in the sun and been radiated by nuclear waste.

2. Jelly Beans

Jelly beans are pleasant things. I thought the same would be true for energy drinks. Even the can looked friendly, with a heap of colourful beans adorning a white background. But once having a first sip, I realized that it must be hard to make something taste of the general flavour of “jelly beans”.

Each jelly bean tastes different. Mix two or three of them together, and the taste varies depending on which ones you’ve stuck with which. There is, technically, no general “allsorts jelly bean flavour”.

The energy drink itself was much closer to some type of berry.

3. Cookies & cream

Cookies and cream go together well enough as flavours. Just like green apple, you think it’s going to be great. You think you would know what to expect from it. But, well, this was an interesting experiment to say the least.

Just… No.

Imagine a mixture of cream soda, and then add the discomfort of inhaling a handful of baking chocolate. It sticks to your tongue in a way that nothing with fizz should.        

4. Cinnamon

I didn’t intend to buy a cinnamon-flavoured energy drink, but there it was after I grabbed a random can off the shelf to pay for it. I knew it was a mistake almost immediately.

If you’ve ever “enjoyed” cinnamon fireball Jawbreakers, that’s an approximation of the taste. Add carbonation to that, and you should know exactly what this was like.

Unfortunately, the taste also came back up for several hours after the initial try.

5. Chilli Mango

I can understand mango as an exotic energy drink flavour. I fail to understand why anyone from the manufacturer would think that chili is a good thing to include to it. Why was this necessary to make?

There’s a burn to it, and it sticks around. I expect this from table condiments, and not from energy drinks. It can be called unplesasant, but could also be called worse than unpleasant if you like. Don’t, just don’t: it’s difficult to get through a card game when it feels like someone just set your insides on fire.

Have you encountered any strange drink flavours that got in the way of your concentration?