I’m almost sure that I’ve seen enough card-themed movies and television shows to fill up a small movie theater.

Rounders, Rain Man, Now You See Me, 21… But even movies or shows that aren’t completely about cards can include a notable scene where players are sat around a card table. Simpsons, Family Guy, Bones, and I could name plenty more.

At the time of writing, I’m still adding more titles to my own personal list.

All the time spent watching card movies has been put to practical use for this post. See, there are some things I’ve spotted from shows that just wouldn’t work at a real game…

Here are some things you’ll only see fictional card players do.

1. Eat while touching cards.

People have to eat, but most real-life people choose to keep residual snacks far away from their playing cards. Eat before or after cards are being handled, but never – gasp! – during.

In movies, it doesn’t seem to matter when people combine snacks like cheese curls with touching the cards. The scene moves on, and nobody worries about the state of the cards except for the real card players who have to watch on in horror.

2. Assume the rules right from the first second.

Card players in movies will almost never stop to ask what they’re playing, or ask for an explanation about the game’s rules. In real life, it’s impossible to get through game night without at least one person asking for clarity.

See, movies don’t have time to pause for things that are irrelevant to the plot (or that the viewer might already know). Mundane things like asking for the game’s rules gets skipped, and that’s why fictional players almost never ask.

3. Have incredible beginner’s luck.

Beginner’s luck works well in movies, and advances the plot with no amount of effort from the writer. Fate just lets them win somehow, even if this is the very first time the player comes to the table. It rarely works like this in any real game.

Would it still feel like the same movie if you had to watch 20 scenes of the same character losing first? Well, no, and that’s why movies use the element of beginner’s luck (or movie montage scenes) in the first place.

4. Sit (way) back in their chairs.

It’s okay for an actor (and thus, the character) to sit way, way back in their chair at the card table. The scene probably gets shot several times, and the actor has a fair chance to get to know the “feel” of their chosen chair.

Would you feel comfortable leaning right back in your chair at a random game? Not with a random chair! That’s exactly how accidents happen.

5. Never drop chips.

You’ll almost never see a fictional card player fumble around their chips, or drop them around the floor. It only ever happens when it impacts the plot (and adds to the chaos of a scene). Real life people appear more clumsy than those on-screen… Life doesn’t get reshoots when a scene doesn’t go the way you planned.

At real games, expect less cool tricks with chips, and much more awkward fumbling. No reshoots.

What have you spotted from fictional card players that you’ll never see from real, live ones?