I’m not a joke writer or comedian by any means, but sometimes I’ll have thoughts that make me crack a smile. I can only hope that they’ll do the same thing for a few other readers out there. Here goes…
The Wheels on the Bus
Two old ladies are sitting together on a bus ride home from a bridge game. One is wearing a blue hat with gloves while the other one is wearing a white hat and no gloves.
How can you tell which one of them won the game?
She’ll tell you.
Confusion at the Cafe
A waiter at an upscale local restaurant is being run through the rounds during his first night at work. He watches a couple sit down for their anniversary dinner. They each glance over the menu and place their order.
Then, he watches as the woman puts up a screen between her and her husband before they continue with their meal.
The waiter runs to his boss and explains the couples’ strange behavior. “They’ve been married for forty years and yet the woman can’t look her partner in the eyes over the screen.”
“Oh, don’t mind them.” says his boss. “They’re duplicate bridge players.”
All is Fair
Six soldiers are trapped in a bunker during wartime. Bullets are flying around them and the official order is to stay where they are for the time being.
A wayward bullet hits their commander and he falls down dead. Panicked, one man dares to ask their second in command, “Sir, what do we do now?”
He looks at his fallen comrade and sighs, “Shoot yourself and we’ll have enough people for a bridge game.”
The Mountains of Madness
A bridge player visits his psychiatrist and tells the doctor that he’d like to start the session by talking about his bridge partner.
Intrigued, the psychiatrist asks, “Why? Is he dangerous? Mad?”
“No,” the man answers. “But I must have been mad myself to think he could play.”
Twice Shy
Two players from the same club run into one another at the grocery store. Puzzled about how their last game had gone, one asks: “I noticed your bridge partner doesn’t talk much. Is he shy?” The other replies, “Oh, he talks. I just don’t let him.”