I’m a habitual night-grinder (the official name for it being “bruxism”), and this led to a badly cracked back molar – and what turned into a bad abscess. It went from “able to stand the pain” to “I think this might kill me” in a matter of days.

On my wife’s recommendation – and with no arguing from me – we booked an appointment. 

X-rays were taken, and it was decided that I needed to come back during the following week and take a quadruple dose of antibiotics half an hour before. A necessary precaution owing to a heart condition.

Removing a tooth is rarely an easy feat in my case. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome makes teeth and the sockets around them brittle – and that’s among other things. It’s safe to say that I found the prospect terrifying.

Dentistry sounds like it has nothing to do with bridge, but it turns out that a quick game of Just Declare makes a worthy distraction while you’re in the waiting room and can’t keep your brain away from the fact that you’re about to have a tooth extracted from your skull.

During a previous interview, Zia Mahmood told me that one of the only things he found distracting during bridge had been “toothache in Russia.” 

Finally, I got it. 

I squeezed in three games of Just Declare before my name was called to go in.

The doctor paced a few times before getting into position. 

“Is it fine that I’m wearing a brace during this?” I ask. “Well, yes, unless you struggle and I have to put a knee on your chest.” 

Thanks for breaking the ice, Doc. 

Next, he explains that pulling a tooth is a misconception. Instead, one dilates a socket, he says. In a circular motion, gently but firmly. Someone supports my neck during this process – presumably someone who isn’t the doctor, unless he was hiding another pair of small hands under his coat. 

I’ve had several teeth extracted at this point in my life. No other dentist before had taken the time to explain the difference between pulling and dilating . 

First, it was the most reassuring explanation any dentist had been able to give – and by the time he was done explaining, he was also done with the extraction. Impressively, I felt nothing other than a light “click.” 

I returned to Just Declare in the taxi on the way home. Being entirely rid of the toothache and in a slight haze, it turns out that going to the dentist might – at least under these circumstances – have bettered my bridge game.

Thanks, Doc!