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Razor’s Believe It or Else!

There was an era in America, not too long ago when “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” was a national pop-culture fave-rave that rivaled even Barnum & Bailey’s Circus! In 1918 Robert Ripley began to report unique, weird and gruesome people and events – first in his newspaper cartoon feature, and since then for a full century, his empire spread to radio, books, museums, TV and internet. “Ripley’s” attractions today include 100+ “odditoriums”, theaters, wax works, aquariums & mirror-mazes to 25,000 exhibits around the world! Hordes of bridge players visit his famous Museum during the yearly Gatlinburg Regional. In the American generation from 1935 (after Babe Ruth) up to 1960 (before JFK and Marilyn Monroe), Ripley’s popularity and esteem may have approached that of the Roosevelts, Jonas Salk, John Wayne, Sinatra, and maybe even our own bridge hero Charles Goren? (nah!)

Now, I’ve seen alotto strange and spectacular bridge in 55 years – but I wanna see more. So I propose a Shrine for hilarious and unique bridge absurdities, to be collected and held at ACBL Headquarters (wherever that is), and submitted by all the friends-of-bridge.

I’ve seen plenty already in the ACBL Bulletin’s “Letters to the Editor”. My Shrine shall be named “RAZOR’S BELIEVE IT or ELSE”! Furthermore, I nominate my friend Paul Linxwiler, Bulletin Editor, as our Curator Emeritus.

My first submission is from the June 4th 8PM ACBL Speedball Pairs toonimint on BBO.

I held ♠AK2, 82, QJT9765, ♣7. Vickie Sebastian and I defended a reasonable 3NT after 3♣-3-3NT float.

Vickie led a to my 9-ducked. Back my Q to declarer’s A (Vickie unblocked her K). First ♣ was ducked, but Vickie won the A on the second ♣, sent a across – ♦♦♦♦♦!

Everybody pitched too many ♠, so I took ♠AK and the 2 at trick 13 for down SEVEN – a bizzare +350! 🙂

Even though they bid 3NT, BELIEVE IT or ELSE – I personally made 3NT in my own bad-hand!

On the same tournament came this real ripper of a “Ripley”.

We battled champion Michigander Lynne Schaeffer and her partner, Don Lowry (51-rated on BBO). Their bidding was thrustful. My pathetic “pass” was desperate, gross sandbagging – to feign abject weakness, then sneak in the back door later to buy the hand (maybe undoubled?) But against champions? NOO WAY! Pass amounts to total Dereliction-of-Duty 🙁

At least I cudda tried to “walk-the-dog” (3♠ – 4♠ – 5♠ etc.) I had overlooked the master stroke which had the best chance to blunt their attack – the esoteric syke of 2NT, bid directly over that Michael’s 2♠ Q-bid, to show 11 HCP + stopper(s)! (Totally safe – no chance in heck of a passout since they BOTH have ♠ voids).

This NT bluff harkens back to the Dark Ages of contract bridge. In England, “PLUM” (Adam Meredith) and his rogues often flung such dung in the bidding. Continentals championed “le Sans-Atout Comique” – shockingly fake NT’s. The most hackneyed attempt was 1-Major – 1NT with NOTHING, except maybe the semblance of a runout suit. Even today, the Poles and other sharp operators try this often, despite the opprobrium of the ACBL for decades.

Anyhoo, Vickie whakked Lynne’s resounding 6 leap, but surely now the Power of Christ compelled me to pull to 6♠ – or be condemned to burn in Satan’s Hell for eternity. Turns out I lost only -6.8 IMPS for -800 vs. -14.3 IMPS for -1660, so I saved 7 1/2 IMPs! Only 41% of 143 auctions even reached the 6-level 🙂 1♠ – 2♠ -7♠ escaped undoubled!!

The true BELIEVE IT or ELSE oddity? How many times in the History of Bridge have you ever seen 8-card support for a real 1-Major opener? Especially since the demise of Goren’s “Standard American” from ’60’s onward? But what Curator Paul at RBIoE really yearns to immortalize are authentic world records of 9-card support for a Major, 10-card support for a Minor or, rarest of all, mind-blowing 11-card support for a hyper-modern “Short Club” opener!


Comments

13 responses to “Razor’s Believe It or Else!”

  1. fantomd

    strange to note that on this hand also, you could make 3Nt

    1. razorsharp

      That BLOWS my MIND that yes, we make 3NT cold, BUT NOT 4!S on our 13-card fit!. That means that even 7NTX is a good save over their 6 !H (-1100)

      1. Razorsharp

        Actually, even 8 NT X goes set only -1400 vs -1430

  2. PhilG007

    God bless the tricksters and deceivers But for them Bridge would be a bland hum drum game(!) 😁

  3. razorsharp

    Bob Brandow suggests that 1S – 2S – 6S (pre-save) might have hit the jackpot! How could have Lynne Schaeffer not bid 7H/6S on general principles?

    1. razorsharp

      She thought quite a while as it was, and invited 7H with her delicate Pass/6S showing 1st round control

  4. jh4911

    another one for ripley. bid 6 hearts missing the ace of hearts. made 7
    opponents renigned on first heart play

    1. razorsharp

      In the early ’70s, Tiger Morris from Cincinnati (playing with Tom Hodapp) reneged away a 7!H grandslam off the !HA on defense!! After a hearing at ACBL Headquarters, a Law was passed that compelled any suit grand to go down off the Ace of trump – which stood for at least a decade.

      1. razorsharp

        Many partnerships now have a firm rule to always play the Ace of trump as soon as possible vs. grand slam (or any Ace against 7NT) to encourage silly-goose partner not to revoke!!

        1. miamijd

          It’s been more than 20 years since I moved away from Ohio for good, but I certainly remember playing against Tiger and Hodapp and Coombs and Frank Cordray and that crew.

          Are you sure this story is real? It sounds a lot like the story (that I’m sure is spurious) about Dick Rudolph where after his RHO passed, he supposedly passed AKQ tenth of spades in second seat. LHO passed, and then his partner, after a long pause, threw in the hand with the comment “Three bullets but a spade void; not worth it.”

          I didn’t believe that one, either

  5. Goldfolk

    Well played this hand only a few weeks ago in a set game where I was becoming rather grumpy as opposition were continually bidding on tram tickets and went for 1100 on a part score then made 3NT when I found only lead to let it in. After 8 boards defending I picked up. void J9xx Qxx QJxxxx and heard RHO bid 1H so fed up of defending I bid 1NT to hear double by LHO and partner bids 2NT which asks me to bid 3 clubs which I was happy to do. LHO bids 4H and partner then leaps to 6 clubs and it goes puzzled pass, pass from me and after some thought double by RHO. Somewhat apprehensive dummy tabled
    xxxxxx void x AKxxxx. and with spades splitting 4-3 this made without a problem with 6 Hearts cold the other way for the best psyche I have made in 50 years of playing bridge.

  6. Anonymous

    I playe against two German youth players once in a tournament. And experienced comical 3-NT. Non-V versus V. Youth player 1 opened a 12-14 1NT, I had a mediocre lookint balance 14 count and passed. Youth player 2 bid 3NT on a 4333 zero HCP hand, and myh partner passed a mediocre looking balanced 14 count. He would certainly have doubled 1NT when it was passed out to him…

    We made 11 tricks and were laughing for two seconds about tis well timed action when Youth player 1 exploded at his partner, How can you idiot do such a thing… He certainly did not appreciate the win of all those imps…

  7. Anonymous

    About 1984 we played the Grand National Teams District 11 finals against a formidable team. On bd.#1, I syked a 1❤️ opener on a 1-count. My partner had a huge ❤️ fit so he syked a1!s response on a dbltn.! When the smoke cleared the opps played 3 nt, cold for 6. Off to the races with a +10 Imp lead! We blew them out 😜